Still the wound is Fresh !!

With a burning heart...pouring tears , 

Still this heart is there to love you 

I wonder why it reacts such way 

Coz the wound you made in it is so real 

and unbelievably hurting my love...

Apart from faithfulness what mistake did I make ??

That is the only question I have in me...

The bond was formed 

from the time I felt that you need me

you need my care and love..

that is what you showed me before

But the vows were broken now..

O my beloved, 

What sort of repayment did I get 

for my faithfulness 

What sort of gift did u give me in return ?

All your promises you said ..

That you will never break a relationship 

you will never loose faith on me

you said you know that I am harmless

But still at last 

all those were forgotten 

What sort of a gift did you give in return my love ??

I dont understand ..really dont understand 

what fault you found in me..

I only fulfilled love for you ..

that is all I did my beloved ...

After giving me the passion of love

teaching me the lesson of love

you gave me the poison to hate love 

Where as now I am scared of the whole world darling ..

I never be able to sleep again 

as I have no dreams to dream

I have no sweet thoughts to think till I sleep 

Coz all this time it was only you I had in my mind

I will never be able to fall in love with some one else

You can still ..

Go ahead and  become a stranger 

but I cant be one to you 

coz you are the only one I knew and 

only one I loved so deep 

For the sake of some outsider

you forgot the one who was your own !!

isnt it what you did to me my darling ???

I am still in a dream thinking 

is that what really happened ..

In just a few moments 

a connection of many lifetimes was erased !!!

I cant take this Good bye...thou its the time !!!

I just just cant admit that I am ready to go ..

ready to leave you ..

the day you came to my life

I always thought I am not gonna hurt you ..

never in my life

and I never wanted to leave you this way

But time has come to move my lips and say Good bye !!

I know it may not make a big difference in you life

coz I was just a piece of dust in your life

but for me knowing all this

I kept you in a place where no one can even reach

I loved you that much ..

Loved everything you did

There for no matter what you said

I had so much of patience to take anything

coz all I remembered is that I loved you ...

Today its the time where after one whole year

I am crying over and over again

just in the thought of leaving you

Coz I know this time you wont be able

to contact me ever !!

I wonder

Seems like my whole body has started reacting

As I am just gonna let a part go from it...

I knw its hard..very very very hard

but nothing much I could to 

than to let it go 

as it really wanted me to do so ...

No appetite to eat the whole day 

no food to the tummy whole day 

Still I servive

drinking tears of my own eyes

Thou I am not strong enough to face this 

Some how I got to do this...

May be there should have been a chance

In case if you sed

atleast for a once that you 

need me...

Need my care

need my love

need my presence

need my kindness 

Need my sacrifice...

but just too unfortunate 

that you simply wanted the work ....

Where I have walked along a road 

all alone thinking you are there for me...

Still I wonder 

whether this is the same person 

year ago

who called me all the time

Who wanted me to stay on the phone all day and night

Who shared the pain and joy when ever its possible

Who wanted my presence 

in all important things in her life...

Who understood me so well 

and protected me from all evil 

Just like a mother 

How ever that past will remain 

as a beautiful picture

Which I may carry till my death 

where no other can 

even keep a mark of a pencil to change the dimension of it...

I am crying ....

I am crying ..I am crying ..

even now I am crying 

I am crying ..I am crying 

tears just coming out 

but I am sure no one see it 

and no one is there to hear it

Dont know really what to do ..

Dont knw how to make my mind

Everything comes in line

All the past beautiful memories I had with you 

which is the only thing I cant leave a side

Everything else Every one else 

Including all known and unknown people to me 

are just nothing

But leaving you !!!

thou I am nothing to you

no where in you 

My dearest darling 

I just dont know how to get over you

I just dont know how to let this go

I feel as if you are stuck inside me

But I know all this is useless things for you 

I am just a burden for you 

who calls you always 

and troubles you with all stupid msgs

But my dear .....

this little heart doesnt know 

what to do to 

take you out from there

Even when I think of it ..

tears pouring out

inside I am burning

But I know this is the best decision ever

Through tears I am looking over you 

and will be there for you 

even you are in the other end of the world .....

Feeling Completely Empty

My heart is very very very heavy ...

When even I think of leaving you

May be you dont even mind it

As I was no where in your life

but for me ...

My everything was you

though you didnt admit it

Every other place I had

was filled with joy

only coz I had you

all the places where it hurts

was just a place for me

as long as you were in my heart

nothing was painful as you were there

but

when the time I realize that

you are not there

you are no more

then I feel that my heart is sooooooo empty

and the whole world is painful....

You may not know the real heart

which lied inside me

You may not know

what this tears tried to tell you

all this time coming closer to you

you never had time to see to it

not even time to listen to it

And also I never wanted to reveal it to you

which I always kept hidden within me

from the whole world

It will remain in my heart

forever till my death

But if there is a day

that you get a time to see into

just let me know my little princess

this heart is always ready to open up for you

Love you darling ...

and I know I am gonna go soon

leaving you

but nothing can take you away from my heart

not even you !!!

For the First time

All this time I wanted to be there for you ..

I wanted to share your pain 

I wanted to listen to your words

I wanted to do my best what ever I can 

I wanted to take you to the very deep end of my heart

Where no one else could even reach ..

But for the first time today 

I felt you as the closest 

keep my head and cry 

I know you wont be there 

but my heart just wanted your presence

wanted to keep my head on your lap 

and seek into a comfort of a mother

I simply wanted you to replace a part 

where so far my mother could do ...

I just felt you so deep that 

I wished you were right here

at this very moment 

where my heart wanted such a warmth 

which a mother can give

Still what I couldnt believe is 

my heart only spelled your name

out of all who are around me

as it felt you 

may be as the most comfortable place 

to lean on at this time

I know you may feel it as a disturbance

or may be even as a burden 

on top of all the duties you have

I also know that you cant ful fil that need

Where I can lean on to you 

when ever I need

But still my heart doesnt admit it

and for the first time in my life

I just felt your presence 

where I wanted my mum to be...

Love you so much...and I dont know what to say 

but just couldnt believe why I am looking for a comfort from you 

by being a burden to you with all the heap of work you have

I just wanted to make your work easy

and help you , and care for you , and love you to the best 

So far only and only i just wanted to give you love

its just today so strange to see that 

I felt your need for my life .....

I felt I am all alone without any one 

and I washed my tears with your memory in heart !!!

I need you right now !!

If ever there is a day
that you feel like crying
and a day that you want to
put out your pain with tears
just remember
I may not be able to make you laugh
but still I can promise you
that I will be there for you
to share your tears
my eyes for sure will
carry out half of your tears

If ever there is a day comes
that you feel like
leaving everything a side
and run away from all
Just call me..
I may not be able to stop you
but still I can promise you
that I will be able to
run with you in the same speed
so that you wont feel you are alone
running under the hot sun
burning your legs..
coz I will be there to share your pain

If a day comes in your life
where you feel like staying
silent without listening to anyone
just recall
that there is one person around you
who may not be able to make you talk
but still I will be able to
remain silent right beside you ...

But..
But...
If a day comes where you call me
and there is no reply from me
try to find me soooooooooon
Get the most speedier journey
to come closer to me
Coz that may be a time that
I need you the most...