Wish if death can come closer !!

On and off we still speak, but the conversations are very much short 

I speak so carefully having the fear that something will slip out like I miss you or I miss this

so that I will immediately regret the words I have spoken

Because if I say these things
 I will realize I am still not over you after all this time

Or may be she will feel that I am this much stupid..

Or I just don't want to show what I really have inside

I simply don't want to show her that still she is within me

covering my whole heart 

coz that will be the biggest mistake I do even after she chase me out ....

every time I see you I don’t want  to go through that pain again

so I make like I’m over it. I cover it up 

and prove that I am ok..

Or may be with a fake smile I am trying to show every one 

that I am totally fine without her..

thou inside me is burning...

Coz truth is the history will never become the future

it will just remain as a beloved past

and will never come back to my life

that is the exact fact which I don't want to admit

But I don't know how far I am successful

in pretending that I am ok ..

coz every day every minute 

this eyes cover up with tears

and every time when there are people 

I try to keep my self alone 

and ignore the people around me...