I am soooooooooooo hurt !!!

I am sooooooooooooo very hurt today so it directed me back to my blog to ease my pain...

Some times you live all your life for someone. I did the same to her. I loved her ..I lost my job to honor her word, I left out all my relatives to give all my time to her. I wanted to live on her. Live only on her. I even risked my life at a point where every one else was against her word. I was about to loose even my purity which I protected all this long ...Coz I want her to be my owner. Take decisions of my life. I gave her that permission which only she can have. Even she is right or wrong I stood by her to say the world that she is right. 

But that she,  blaming me still. Blaming my heart still. And more than anything she is rejecting my love over and over again. 

After all keeping the people who blames her n chased me out from her life.

I dont knw what more I can do .I am so very helpless .God please help me..I knw this love is just like I am loving a robot who will never feel it , never need it, never will value it. 

God please give me strength to over come this feeling towards her. I am just soo bound by true feelings for her which I want to stop. 

I love her, still to this point I love her, I didnt get any loving word from her to love this way. All she did was blaming me for every single thing I did and on top she never trusted my love.

May be one day I will loose my life to save her..But I wonder whether it will b worth it. Wonder atleast my death will heat her heart to feel my love. I loved her every single way and just the way she is. 

Instead I changed so much within me to adjust according to her needs. 

I spent sleepless nights to be with her and did all my work when she was a sleep. 

I spent almost half a lak to make her life safe and happy at a time when I didnt have any more savings or earnings. 

My beloved God , I knw she will never see this. She will never realize what I have done for her and how much she meant to my life..

This little note is to some one who can scream to the world to say how much she meant to me. Coz till death part me from her life she will not feel what I gave her..

In a way I feel we both were in the same boat riding to the same direction. Where I love her when no love is return and no trust or understanding or feelings towards me. Same way she loves some one else and dying for what she had got from her. She is far more better than me in that way coz she is finding something which she atleast had at a time and trying to hold on to something which was to be her. But stupid me trying to keep something which never belonged to me. I keep on crying thinking that I will loose her but truth is she was anyway not given to me !!!

This note one day will let her knw ..." My beloved I loved from the very depth of my heart " 

I lived on you and will cherish all what I had in the births to come ~~~~

Well Said !!!

"It hurts to breathe because every breath I take proves I can’t live without you."
Anonymous

"To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful."
Bess Myerson

"A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses."
Anonymous

"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
Marcus Aurelius

"The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have."
Anonymous

"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."
Anonymous

"The stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won’t hurt you again."
Anonymous

"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."
Anonymous

"Love is unconditional, relationships are not."
Grant Gudmundson

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been.""
John Greenleaf Whittier

Love you means Everything you mean to me !!!

Sometimes we can fall in love with someone for
all the wrong reasons,
and still love them even after all the heartache
because most of the time

we can’t pick who we love. And even though
we know we  shouldn’t love them, we do and
always will, because there are just
some people in our lives who will get to us for reasons we can’t
explain, even when they shouldn’t.

Some times I just dont get why I love you this much 

Even when there is nothing in return ..

Then again I realize that is where I love you too much

In my life 

You are the adviser , you are the guider

You are the only permitted person to change my way 

In the way you want ...

Even the I have to leave this world 

All I want is to die looking at your eyes...

I know my beloved ..may be I am never in your life

never in your way 

never in your dreams ...

But For me ...you are everything...

Even when I am so down at heart ..I recall your sweet words

recall your cute smile to feel that some one is there for me....

Thou in reality you are never for me !!!

When I remember You it means that I have
carried something of
who You are with me

It means that even after you die,
I can still see your face and hear your voice and
speak to you in my heart.
For as long as I remember you,

You are never entirely lost.!!!

That Some Body is me !!!

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?

Cause I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And Im going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's me, that somebody's me, yeah

How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good and now its gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we hide isn't lost
Cause you re always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's me, oh, yeah

You will always be in my life even if Im not in your life
Cause you're in my memory
You, will you remember me?
And before you set me free, oh, listen please

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
Somebody's me, that somebody's me
That somebody's me, that somebody's me, oh, yeah

This is not easy !!!!

I know I am not at all pretty enough 

to attract anyone

I know I am not cute enough to 

make any one interested..

I know I am not a millionaire 

for people to look apon 

I am not perfect on anything I did

I am not educated enough to stand among the best

I know all that is true within me..

Truth is as such that I am nothing 

when I stand on earth 

for anyone else to look into...

Absolutely I have nothing 

to attract anyone and make people come on my way !!!

But 

But, one thing I know I had enough ..

and I am sure I had too much of it to serve you 

The right way as you wanted...

That is nothing else but 

A very pure love which was unconditional and  born only for you !!!

I know I loved you enough 

to fight for you , compromise for you , 

sacrifice my life for you ..

not only that ...

I loved you enough 

to believe you are the perfect person I met

to believe you are the best I had in my life

to have faith to stand by you no matter what you did

Also I loved you enough 

to miss you every single day I spent 

to live for you and die for you one day 

I loved you enough to spend the rest of my life

thinking only about you thou you are part 

and live far away from me...

And I am sure that I loved you this much 

not for your money 

not for your property 

not for your status or your beauty 

I loved you only and only coz 

I saw my self in you ...I saw such a beautiful heart in you 

I saw a rare sensitivity within you ..I saw a pure heart inside you 

And I loved you coz I didnt have a reason not to do so ...

but one thing I cant figure is that what was missing in my love

after all ...for you to not to feel even an inch of it !!!

Or wonder whether you just pretend as you didnt see 

through my heart ....thinking that you may have to return my love 

which you are not capable even to think of ...

Still all I would say is ...I LOVE YOU...

I LOVE YOU ..I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER RECEIVE 

I loved a stone ??? Did I ???

I cared for you giving the best care I can 

I loved you with all my heart

I cried when you hurt me 

Coz I have given you the authority to do so 

I sigh when you are not around me

Coz I made you the only one I wanted 

I forget all the bad times we came across

Coz there were so much more to keep in mind

about the loveliest things of your life 

I forget the words which came as arrows to my heart

As those just made my heart bleed ...

But with all the blood which came out 

I wrote your name in my heart again and again 

I showed you every moment how much I care

I proved you every second how much I love 

I made you understand in every word I said 

and the every look I looked at you !!

I wrote thousand poems 

I sent you hundred songs

Every penny I earned ..I saved to buy something for you

I messaged you every moment that you comes to my mind

I called all the sweet words in the world 

to make you feel how deep my love is

I called you every time to find out how you do 

thinking that you will know how much I miss you 

I did all what is possible to protect your belongings

to make sure you are safe and covered. 

I represented you every time 

thinking that I have the right to do so 

I gave up many more opportunities

which came along my way 

coz I felt that I already got the best opportunity 

by getting time to serve you 

look after you 

and more than all to 

worship you by such pure and unconditional love !!!!

But at last I feel 

Did I loved a stone ???

where nothing I did has made her understand

how deep this love is ....and how much it hurts 

even to think of a life without her ????? 

Some times Love just ain t enough !!!

Nobody is right till somebody is wrong... Nobody is weak till somebody is strong... Nobody is lonely till somebody is gone........Nobody is lucky till love comes along.

I dont wanna loose you
But I dont wanna use you

Just to have some body by my side 

I dnt wanna hate you

I dnt wanna take you
But I dnt wanna be the one to cry

I dnt really matter to anyone anymore
but like a fool I keep loosing my place

I keep seeing u walk through that door

There is a danger in loving some body too much

And its sad when u know its your heart u cant trust

There is a reason why people dont stay where they are

Baby some times love just aint enough

I could never change you 

I dont wanna blame you 

Baby you dont have to take the fault ...
Yes I may have hurt you 

But I did not desert you 

May be I just wanna have it all ...

It makes us sounds like thunder

It makes me feel like a rain 

But like a fool who will never see the truth ..

I keep thinking that something is gonna change 

( And you will be back again )

And there is no way home

When its late at night and you are all alone

Are there things that you wanted to say 

Do you feel me beside in your bed ..

There beside you where I used to lay !!!

My angle .............

I know this birth may be you will never realize what you had

till death part us...

but hope and pray that you will come to me in next birth 

till then I will keep this love inside my heart

just as a fresh rose ..

Coz its a noble gift

Which I want to offer you 

By keeping my love as pure as it can be 

Love you my princess !!!

Leave me !!!

If you wanna leave ..

just take my breath and leave me 

Coz I dont want to breath without you by my side

I know it doesnt mean a thing to you ...

It really dont mean you at all

My love was just like a doormat for you 

no value ..

knowing that ...knowing that is the exact truth 

I still want you..still loves you 

just as the day I met you 

I know I may be so stupid 

to love you this way 

giving you all what I have without getting anything from you

This is a world 

lives on a give and take policy 

or in other words

with a reaction for all actions

But for my ..my little heart

loves you just giving all love and care 

just for nothing from your side..

But darling I still can love you 

Still can live this way 

I just need you to accept my love

nothing more I need from you

Coz I didnt love you for the 

car you drive ...for the house you live

for the money you have in bank 

I loved you for your simplicity 

your sensitivity and the way you showed loved to the world

I loved the way you shared your life with others

I loved every single thing you did

I loved every single word you spoke

thou it hurts to the very end of my heart

Some times I just cried hours and hours ..

I cried for days and days

Coz I couldnt take the harshness came out from u

But my love just erased every thing you did to hurt me

Only thing I can remember is the 

beautiful heart you have

and how perfect you are to deserve my love

Girl ...My angle...my little princess....my beloved mum, 

Every way I just see you right by my side

I dont know what to do when you just reject me over and over again 

Coz I cant imagine of a life without you ..

So just leave me taking my breath away ..

that is all I ask from you my love !!!

That is all

I truly loved you my girl !!!

Among the thousand eyes I meet
every day and night
I searched for you..

I searched for your fragrance..

I searched for your presence
Knowing that you will never be mine
I loved you every single minute I spent..

I loved you more than I loved me

and every day I lived in that love

spending whole my life thinking of you..
you may not know ..you may not felt it
But whole world knows how much I loved you

I build my life through your eyes
I felt that you was always mine

I felt that I am the one who should protect you

I felt that I am the one who should care for u
I felt that you are just a part of me

I prayed for it..

for you to be my side
that thought itself came out as a tear and
flot on my cheeks 

just as if I am in a meditation ...
I lived in ur thoughts
All that was just like a blotted picture
infront of me !!!
Except you ..the whole world knew it..

How much I loved you 

from the very very depth of my heart !!!

You are the !!!!

You are the sunshine - in my life

you are the blessings - which all I have 

you are the strength - I carry always

you are the words - all I have 

you are the light - behind me

you are the breath - keeps me alive

you are the hope - makes me driving 

you are the goal - leads my life 

you are my world

you are my heart

you are my life

you are my everything 

When you go down - I drown deep

when you are crying - I start weeping

when you are sad - I will sigh 

When you are happy - I will be delighted

Because you are everything and the only thing I have in my life !!!!

Dont tell me that its not worth living my life for you 

Dont tell me that its not worth dying for you 

Dont tell me that its not worth spending time for you

Dont tell me that is not worth holding my breath for you

Coz you are all I have to do anything in this world

My beloved princess 

there is nothing that can replace you in my heart 

thou you are far away 

I am right beside when ever you need me 

I will spend sleepless nights to make you sleep

I will spend all my words to sing you lullabys

I will use both my hands to hold you tight 

So that you will never feel alone in night !!!!

Love you my princess 

Love you soooooooooooooooo much 

and miss you heaps !!!

Help for what ???

My dearest .....................

how can you be this helpless,

how can you be begging for help

noooooooooooooo

you cant do this

you cant do this my love

As long as this eyes can see

and this heart can breath

you cant be helpless at all

coz no matter what

no matter where I am

I am just one ring away from you

gosh please let me know

what you need

plssssssssssssssssssss maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

you cant be left alone like this

My dearest maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

love you soooooooooooooo much

and this love will protect you always

God....please help me

help me to know what she need

I wish if you can be the data transfer

and let me know what she really needs

please God

I cant put her in this stage...

please god help me to know wht she needs

Even its a matter of a life

I am right here to offer it my love .....

Chooti Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

Ane mage chooti maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

ai mawa dala giyeeeeeeeeeeeee

ane mata hungaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak palui ammiyoooooooooooooo

ane apahu mage langata enna chooti ammiiiiiiiiiiiii

mata dukaaaaaaaaaaaaaai

oya nathuwa godaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak palui

ane chooti maaaaaaaaaam

inna thanaka indan mata katha wath karanna koooooooooo

mage hitha godaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak ridila

ekata me duka daraganna bari wei

ane ammiyooooooo

ikmanata mage langata enna maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam !!!!

man oyata kawadawath waradak kare na

mulu hithin mai adare kare

mata adare one na ..ane eth awith langin inna puluwan nam

e tika hondatama athi chooti maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

Pls Pls Pls Pls Pls take my breath away ...

Pls Pls Pls Pls Pls take my breath away

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee my load 

take my breath away 

I cant take this pain anymore

I cant handle this heart anymore

I just just just wanna die

and give away my life

as I have nothing 

just I have been 

left alone with nothing

I cant take this pain anymore 

Gosh ...I simply cant live my life ....

mata andanna oneeeeeeeeeeeeeee

mata godaaaaaaaaaaaaaak godaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak dukai ...

jeewithe me tharam vedanawak une ai ?

man godaaaaaaaaaaaaak paw karala athi 

godaaaaaaaak

adare me tharam dukak nam 

mata ai oyawa muna gahune 

man danne na 

mata therenne na 

jeewithe kohoma geniyannada kiyala

aneeeeeeeee

deviyane 

mata me tharam dukak denne ai 

lokuuuuuuuuuuu thanikamak hitha welagena

kawadawath nowindapu widiyata 

mage hitha duk windinawa

koi tharam anduwath e duka nam nathi wenne na

ane ai man kawadawath man langa nathi kenekuta

me tharam adare kare ??

kawadawath man wenuwen nohitapu

mage adare epa kiyapu kenekuta 

man me tharam adare kare ai deiyane ???

jeewath wenna wath mata dan hithak na

sinawenna amathaka wela 

eth gedara ayata penne man haiyen hinawenawa

hithe thiyana duka eyalata pennanna bari nisa

e hinawa hariyata mune wenamama alawapu 

pinthurayak wage

hadawatha athule thiyena ginigoda 

wahanna hadapu reddak wage ..

deyyaneeeeeeeeeeee

ane mawa ikmanata me dukin mudawanna

mawa ikmanin me loken ath karanna deviyaneeeeeeee

did u read my heart Toni ??

UNBREAK MY HEART - TONI BRAXTON

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Come back and bring back my smile

Come and take these tears away

I need your arms to hold me now

The night are so unkind

Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye

Bring back the joy to my life

Don't leave me here with these tears

Come and kiss that pain away

I can't forget the day you left

Time is so unkind

And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry that tears

I cried so many, many nights

Un-break my

Un-break my heart

Come back and say you love me

Un-break my heart

Sweet darlin'

Without you I just can't go on

Can't go on....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOj1urHtu4Y

I am no one to all

No one is mine
May be Im not fine,
No one cares 4 me
No one has tears 4 me,
No one believes me

    Everyone says leave me,

If I ever cry
No one will even ask why

and If I ever die
No one will cry

No one says take care
Everyone says I dont care,
When I need someone 4 myself
I find no one around there

I have cried so many tears

and faced so many fears

All my feelings I have burned n buried

to make my life move on

its the way I have learned

To cope with what Ive been through

except no one knew

that inside me , i am dying

Im trying to pick myself up but Im stuck

My heart bruised and broken

my words go unspoken

A frown comes to my face,and a tear takes place

My heart is crying for days n days 

this has been happening for a while 

How can I take back the pain,when nothing is quite the same 

This  TRUE HEART will  remains forever

with the same love and care

thou u reject me as much as you can..

until I takes my final breath away

you will be in it safe and secure 

covered with unconditional love

Even though my heart will never mend

the pain u gave each moment !!!

Deep inside me !!!

I Believe The Saddest Thing In Life
Is When You Love N Care So Much
For Someone N Yet In The End
You Realized He Or She Only
Treat You As Stranger, Never
Appreciate Nor Trust You Before..

While you gave her flowers, you gave me thorns. While all she did was smile, all I did is mourn. While she was so happy, I felt so blue. Because while you loved her, I was loving you.

Text me when you are sad, text me when you need someone to listen to and you can't find anyone who will. I don't care if I'm your last option, I just don't want you to cry alone.

when i was i child,,,i couldn't wait to grew and fall in love...now that i grew enough...how i wish i was a child again co'z its easier to heal a broken knee,,,,than to heal...
"A BROKEN HEART!!!!!"

Wish these were my words !!

loving you is like jumping from a helicopter without a  parachute 

like swimming without water

and solving a puzzle without  missing pieces

It was really risky and imposible...

 "If time can heal heartaches... is my clock broken  ???

I don't understand why God would let us meet knowing that we could never be together You don't know how hard it is to get over you.... when every time I see you, my heart begins to smile...

I realized that the greatest way to move on is to feel the pain until you get numb of it..

 Every night i talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you tho.. far away and never replies to my questions

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most.

 It's crazy, right ? To love someone that hurts you. It's crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you too....

Broken hearted girls are like the queen in a game of chess. They risk their lives just to protect the king which is the saddest part

This wont seems to heal !!!

When U think no one sees you, I see you

When U think your life is passing by unnoticed, I notice

When U think no one hears you, I hear you

When U think no one cares anything about you, I care

When U think no one loves you, I love you

Sometimes, even now

I look at pictures of you.

See what you’re doing

smile when you’re mentioned

I laugh at your jokes, in my head

even when I remember tears, too.

All of this is bad, I know.

To recall

just when love became memory !!!!!!!!!!

I cry because I know you dont feel the same way I do

I cry because I think of how pathetic I am 

I cry because I think Im going to be crying forever

They say falling for you is my biggest mistake but how can it be so wrong if it feels so right

If ever I made a mistake

it's not that I fell for you, it's thinking that someday you'll fall for me too...

I don't know why I'm so afraid to lose u when u r not even mine. I don't know why I luv u so when u don't even luv me. I don't know why u r the one when I'm just a someone to u.

God give me strength

I know I felt down

I know I am broken

I know I am poor 

so much poor at heart now

I know I am nothing

I know I am feeling less 

After all its coz you left me 

and let me go from your life. ...

I dont know 

what to do 

what to say 

I dont know to think of a future

I dont know to aim for a goal

I just know that I am left alone

Simply alone with nothing

God give me strength to servive

Please make me living

thou I am half dead

I need your hand to hold

and to servive till a day

I see her back again 

This eyes just have only one wish 

that to make her appearance 

as the last picture I see

before I take the last breath..

God save me till then !!!!